Seven Ways to Avoid Doing Anything

I’m a procrastinator. Avoiding anything necessary, uncomfortable, or meaningful is my natural propensity.  With years of practice, I’m pretty good at procrastinating.

My most recent stop at procrastination station includes a new writing project.  The outline complete, a few paragraphs are written and characters developed, it has the workings of a strong skeleton with a solid project timeline. All I need to do is sit down and write.

Alternatively, here are ways I procrastinate and you can too.

1.       Clean house.  I can’t function if my house is a mess (it isn’t) and a clean house helps me focus (so I tell myself). 

2.       Facebook.  This is avoidance ad-infinitum.  

3.       Update website.  A necessary activity, but there is a sharp learning curve which makes it time-consuming.  If you’re looking for a way to avoid anything in life, try building a website.  It’s sure to be a time vampire. 

4.       Snack.  It’s difficult to do anything meaningful on an empty stomach. This might be less procrastination and more self-care and what better way to avoid doing anything than by snacking.

5.       Pinterest.  Ha!  Another complete and total time-waster.  I love the virtual magazine of everything that remotely interests me at all.  Art. Tattoo designs. More art.  The moon.  So random.  Ways to redecorate my house.  It’s another rabbit-hole of time-wasting.

6.       Stare at a blank computer screen.  And open a web browser to Facebook, Pinterest and check email.  But not put any shitty words down for a rough draft. 

7.       Read the news.  News is depressing. So why not read the news before doing something creative? 

8.       Check my 401k balance.  Another depression-inducing activity.

9.       Snack again.  After all the depressing procrastination, I need comfort food.  What’s your go-to snack?

10.   Take a nap.  The couch beckons.  Fully belly and malcontent need rest.  Soft pillows, a warm blanket, and an afternoon to recharge.

11.   Play with the animals.  They need attention and love and affection too.

12.   Think of new projects to start.  Anything but the one I set out to complete.

13.   More Facebook and Pinterest.  I may have a problem.  I may need an intervention.  I remove the apps from my phone and take a deep breath.

14.   Pretend to get organized.  An organized house is an organized mind and an organized life that leads to organized thoughts and organized work.

Well, I’ve doubly procrastinated and hoped for progress and now it’s time to focus. Cheers to the next project.